


Learning How to Feel

by G4M3RGF



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 10:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25349245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/G4M3RGF/pseuds/G4M3RGF
Summary: Kiyotaka is prone to having anxiety attacks during school, and Mondo always silently watches them.Kiyotaka feels so many emotions, and Mondo doesn't even know how to feel them.Despite seeming so different, maybe they can find common ground.aka: “TAKA GOES CRY AND MONDO, THOUGH CONfusED, HELPS AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER” - Nico
Relationships: Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo
Comments: 12
Kudos: 230





	Learning How to Feel

**Author's Note:**

> hi so this is ! my first fic ! So I apologize if it's out of character at all ! I based it off of my own experiences with anxiety

Kiyotaka often got a little too “worked up” about things.

He just cared a little too much about, well, everything.

The first time Kiyotaka had a panic attack in front of his classmates, he was less than 2 hours into his first day. New environments, new people, new schedules; they can all be extremely overwhelming. So, when Kiyotaka wandered into the wrong classroom for his second period, he erupted into tears almost immediately. It was humiliating! How could his peers take him seriously, if he can’t even navigate hallways correctly? By the time he found the correct classroom, his face was already too far gone- bright red, puffy, and covered with tears.

Mondo remembers this sight as clear as day. 

He, surprisingly, had made it to the classroom early that day. Daiya had made him promise that, now that he was a student at the acclaimed Hope’s Peak Academy, he wouldn’t skip school, or at least wouldn’t skip on his first day. So here he was, lounging back in his chair, a couple centimeters away from falling backwards and cracking his head open on the shelf behind him. He liked the thrill of it. As he began to push his chair back at even more of an angle, he saw the door burst open. 

A boy wearing all white and the shiniest boots he had ever seen, stood in the doorway, heaving heavily.

Now, it’s not as if Mondo had never seen someone cry before. Even though his attendance rate was, to say the least, poor, he had gone to school before. He just usually never acknowledged them. But this was different. Mondo felt him fall forwards on his chair, all four legs being planted on the floor again, and his eyes wouldn’t part from the sobbing boy, who was quickly shuffling to sit in the seat next to him. As the boy sat down at the desk, Mondo tilted his head. He could hear the boy breathing, and he could see the salty droplets inching closer to the boys lips, as he lifted the sleeve of his white jacket up to wipe them away. Mondo caught himself staring, and quickly shook his head. Yet, the image stuck in his head the rest of the day.

Over his time at Hope’s Peak, Kiyotaka’s anxiety attacks became even more common.

Over his time at Hope’s Peak, Mondo continued to watch Kiyotaka.

He didn’t know why he would spend entire class periods sneaking glances at the boy, and he didn’t know why his heart ached seeing him sad. But yet, every time he heard the boy sniffle next to him, he felt the urge to put an arm around him and soothe him. Of course, he never did, and he knew he never would.

Or, that’s what he thought.

It was about 15 minutes into Mondo’s lunch period when he decided to go to the bathroom. At his usual lunch table, Leon had been very inconspicuously flirting with Sayaka, and Mondo had gotten a bit sick of uncomfortably sitting in between them. He excused himself to the restrooms, planning to just play a game on his phone for the rest of the period. Yet, when he entered the facility, the sight he found before him was somewhat unexpected.

The boy was leaning against the door to the handicap stall, crying.

His body had formed itself into a ball, with his knees tucked into his chest, and his shiny boots against his thighs. He was slightly rocking back and forth, and Mondo felt his face contort into a slight grimace when he noticed the dirt from the floor staining the boy’s white uniform. Despite his unsightly appearance, what Mondo found most peculiar about the sight in front of him was the stapled sheets of paper the boy held near him.

It took Kiyotaka a moment before he noticed Mondo’s presence. He was far too engulfed in his own thoughts to even remember what was happening around him, until he viewed the flash of purple in his peripheral vision. When Kiyotaka registered the color, he quickly whipped his head to face Mondo, and let out a distorted choke. He hated having others see him like this, as he wanted to be a good role model for his colleagues, and good role models aren’t usually found sobbing on bathroom floors. Kiyotaka tried to collect himself and stand up, but his legs gave out as soon as he put weight on them, and he just crumbled back into his ball form.

Mondo stood there silently, mouth agape, unsure of how to react to such a situation. He wanted to help the boy, but he wasn’t even sure how to approach that. He had never comforted someone before, and he didn’t even understand the feelings the boy was having. Mondo’s experience with emotions had been minimal, having grown up believing that they made a man appear as a lesser being, so trying to understand Kiyotaka, a boy who experiences so many emotions so vividly, felt like an impossible goal. 

Despite this, Mondo felt himself, without the approval of his conscious mind, bending over next to the boy, and placing a hand on his shoulder. Kiyotaka shivered at the touch, and blinked rapidly, tears fluttering down his cheeks. He was obviously surprised by the somewhat uncharacteristic action, and Mondo couldn’t blame him, as he was shocked by himself, too. Although Kiyotaka seemed unsure of the gesture, he slowly began to melt into it. His eyes started to close, and his breathing started to stabilize.

What Mondo did wasn’t much, but it was the kindest act Kiyotaka had ever received.

Mondo didn’t move a muscle until Kiyotaka stopped crying and opened his eyes again. When he did, Mondo slowly removed his hand, though he selfishly missed the physical contact, and plopped down next to the boy on the floor. “What...happened?” Mondo asked, a bit louder than intended, as an attempt to finally break the silence.

Kiyotaka jumped slightly at the sudden voice, but calmed quickly. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to respond, “I-” he hiccuped as he spoke, “I will never be good enough”.

Mondo blinked at those words, confused. Wasn’t this the student who all the teachers praised? Wasn’t this the child who all the parents dreamed of? W̶a̶s̶n̶’̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶b̶o̶y̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶l̶o̶n̶g̶e̶d̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶?̶ 

He shook that last thought out of his head, as Kiyotaka shakily handed him the pile of papers he had been cradling. Mondo took the sheets into his own hands and skimmed the neatly typed Japanese that lined the pages. It appeared to be an essay of some sort. Mondo then glanced at the handwritten red ink in the corner of the paper. “90/100” it read. He assumed that this must be the score, but he didn’t understand how this was anything to be upset over.

Mondo looked back up at Kiyotaka, and, as their eyes met, that’s when it became clear to Mondo. While he viewed Kiyotaka as the “ideal student”, one anyone would be envious of, Kiyotaka’s perception of himself was entirely different. He viewed anything below perfection as failure, and that was something he was deathly afraid of. Mondo could understand that concept to an extent, though not academically, as he was afraid of failing his brother, and being a disappointment as a leader.

In this moment, Mondo realized that the differences between himself and Kiyotaka were not as great as they once appeared.

Now, Mondo was unsure of how to assure Kiyotaka that he was good enough while they sat on this dusty bathroom floor, but he hoped that, over time, he could learn how to make Kiyotaka feel better, and maybe, through that, he himself could learn that it’s okay to feel.


End file.
